#1 Most Important Step in Healing
The most important commitment you will ever make is the commitment to your relationship with yourself. Unfortunately, I find that while everyone seems to talk about self-care and self-love, most people aren't actually committed to being in alignment with the highest version of themselves. For many, the path of "healing" often looks like seeking outside of oneself instead of turning inward, and this doesn't support lasting transformation.
Self-care is not just getting a massage, taking the day off to go to the beach, or even getting that new top-selling spiritual guidebook. It's not about adding more to your life, or about becoming something different than who you are. Self-love is and self-relationsihp are about finding the wounded parts of yourself and becoming the healthy, nurturing presence that loves, accepts, and supports these vulnerable parts no matter what. It is commitment to uncovering and strengthening the part of you that is clear on your own unique needs and desires and knows exactly how to fulfill them. You, more than anyone else, know what you need and how to get it. The problem is that you may not be able to hear what your soul is trying to tell you until you really let go of other people's ideas and hone in on your own soul's message.
We often think we are going after what we want, but in truth we might be chasing the aspirations that others have projected on to us. We try to become better by adding more and more to our resumes, our calendars, our closets, our bank accounts, etc. We rush into relationships because we think we're supposed to be married by a certain age, or pursue a stable career because it's a safe investment for the future. Sometimes these goals truly are our soul's longing, but a lot of the time we are being motivated by ego. The ego is the part of us that tries to protect us by pleasing others, the part that acts tough but is really just afraid to be abandoned in some way if we don't live by other people's desires and expectations. The truth is, no one knows what you need and how to give it to you more than you do, if you pay attention. You abandon yourself every time you ignore your inner voice to follow someone else's guidelines for how you should live your life.
To really be committed to yourself is to get in touch with that highest part of you that is wise, strong, and intuitive, who is able to see and support your soul's purpose and passion. What this looks like is deprogramming and removing all the external expectations that were placed on you from childhood onward. We are collectively so hypnotized by our families and cultures that we often don't even realize that we may not be living in alignment with our highest selves and souls until our lives start manifesting chaos in the form of failing relationships, unfulfilling jobs, and unexplained physical illness, anxiety, and depression. The good news is that all this stuff is just programming, it's not who we truly are. The truth of who you are is an intuitive, driven, creative, loving, and joyful being. If that's not how you feel right now, please don't despair - I am 100% sure that is who you are, and there are many tools you can use to rediscover this about yourself.
It may sound cliche to say that the answer to everything you need is right inside you, but it really is that simple. And yet, how many of us look everywhere but inside for those answers and validations. We can jump from job to job, from relationship to relationship, from city to city, but healing will not happen until we stop, look ourselves in the eyes, and become that strong partner for ourselves, promising never to abandon ourselves, promising to always love and accept ourselves no matter what. Loving and committing to yourself is a revolutionary act. There can be no sustainable healing and growth until you do that on a deep level.
This is a simple truth, and yet it is not always easy. We are culturally programed to be super hard on ourselves, to beat ourselves up, to keep searching and striving, which implies that we are not good enough just the way we are. Sometimes we need help to remember how to love and honor ourselves. There are many guides and many tools to assist you on this sacred journey of becoming the highest version of yourself. I am one of these guides, and if you resonate with this message I encourage you to reach out to me, as it is MY highest purpose to be of service to the world in this way.
I'll leave you with an inspiring passage from Matt Kahn that just blew me away with it's beauty and insightfulness on this topic of self-love and commitment to growth:
"In the new paradigm, we become more inspired, motivated, and intentional when our hearts have been honored, accepted, nurtured, and loved as never before. Perhaps you have come to see how the force of your will cannot create what only the softness of your approach and the elegance of your gaze can ever bring forth.
"No matter the outcomes you chase or the agendas you maintain, what if you stopped for one moment and asked yourself: 'How much more thoughtful, gentle, supportive, and kind must I be to myself in order to feel safe enough to succeed, prosper, and shine at my highest capacity?'
"What you perceive as self-sabotage is ultimately the grace of your innocent nature momentarily deferring the advancements of external success, until loving yourself becomes your highest priority. Once your priorities have been rearranged from the inside out, you will find an effortless flow that guides you forward to manifest the incredible success, immaculate health, radiant wholeness, and infinite-flowing prosperity that you were always destined to discover."
Sending you lots of love and light, always,
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