I want you to banish the word ‘should’ from your life.
The word ‘should’ has a negative vibration. Just say it a few times in your head or out loud and you can feel it. It doesn’t feel good. It creates a heaviness in the heart and stress in the mind. ’Should’ implies that we aren’t doing something that we need to be doing. ‘Should’ suggests that we are behaving badly. With the word ‘should’ often comes feelings of guilt and shame, and the feeling that we’re not good enough in the present moment (which, by the way, is the only place life exists).
‘Should’ also gets in the way of relationships. If you tell your partner they should be doing something that they’re not, or vice versa, chances are your mate is going to become defensive and close up. Whether from ourselves or others, when we are told that we ‘should’ do or be something we’re not already, we feel like we are not being accepted for who we are, in this present moment (the only place life exists!).
Now, that is not to say that we do not need to do the personal work of evolving and becoming better versions of ourselves. I’m not suggesting that one should (there’s that word again) remove ‘should’ from their vocabulary because I want to let people get off the hook for living in ways that don’t serve themselves or the people around them. I believe it is our duty as souls on this earth at this time to do the work to move from limited states of consciousness towards expansion. That’s what I think brings the deepest fulfillment in life. This process, however, needs to be supported by a certain level of discipline and key behavioral components - like not using the word ‘should.’
There are other, kinder ways to motivate ourselves and other people to operate at our highest potentials. Words carry vibration, just like anything else, and research has shown that the energy charge of words affects living matter (check out Marasu Emoto’s work). We know ‘should’ carries a negative charge (just notice how your heart center feels when you focus on that word). What are some words that are more loving and compassionate? How might we speak to someone whom we are guiding from the openness of our hearts? What comes to mind for me are phrases like, “you might benefit from…” “It would probably serve you to…” “it’s a good idea to…” “you could think about doing….” “it would help me if you…” “I want you to…” “it feels great when you…” “you have the power to…” etc etc.
So, I’m not going to tell you that you should or shouldn’t do anything (obviously). I’m just suggesting that it might assist you to remain at a higher vibrational level - the place where love and joy live - if you eliminate the words that make you feel bad and start using the words that make you feel good.
Love, Joy, & Wellness,
Have you ever had the experience of being physically in one location, but your mind is traveling a mile a minute somewhere else? Such a separation of mind and body is a normal experience for many people. Our society has convinced us that we need to be in a constant state of productivity, and the fear of “not getting it all done” prevents us from being able to relax into the here and now. However, to not be aware of our experience in the present moment means that we are missing out on what it means to really live authentically.
Life only happens in the present moment. Our power lies in the present moment, as does our humanity and our ability to tap into the essence of what it means to be alive. Given the world we live in, it makes sense that we have developed the mental habits of analyzing the past and anticipating the future. The thing is, these habits are not healthy, nor do they reflect the reality of life as it currently exists. Not being present increases anxiety, which not only affects the nervous and endocrine systems of the body, it prevents you from being fully engaged in life. Getting stuck in the mind’s ability to jump between the past and the future disconnects us from the fact that it is primarily through our bodies - our senses - that we exist and interact in the life in this moment in space and time.
Luckily, there is an easy way to tap into the present moment and to begin to live more authentically.
What does it really mean to be present? Our experience of any situation is determined by how we process sensory input through our senses - smell, taste, touch, sound, and sight. By paying attention to each of these senses, we can connect fully to what is happening right here, right now. Paying attention to each specific sense allows for direction and concentration that make this process easier. Anchoring ourselves to the present moment through our senses then opens up our ability to connect with our sixth sense - the subtle perception of the energy of the universe.
Instantly Connect with the Present Moment: 6 Sense Meditation
You can do this meditation wherever you are, whether sitting, lying down, standing, or walking. If you’ve never meditated before it will be easier to start in a stationary position, either sitting or reclining. Unless you are doing a walking meditation, close your eyes.
Take a deep inhale and a deep exhale. Allow your energy to drop down from the mental sphere and into the physical realm.
Begin to become aware of your body’s position in space. Feel the parts of yourself that make contact with the surface below you. Notice the feeling of your clothing on your skin. Feel the hairs on your arms and on your head. Feel the air around you, noticing the presence of absence of a breeze. Notice how your body responds to your breath. Feel your belly expand and your chest lift on the inhale, notice your belly contract and chest lower on the exhale. Continue paying attention to the bodily sense of feeling for one minute.
Now, connect to your sense of hearing. Notice any sounds that you become aware of as they travel through space into your inner ears. Try to hear sounds as far away as possible. Notice any sounds you hear outside, letting your awareness move from sound to sound, resisting the urge to create a story about any one sound. Begin to bring your awareness closer to you, noticing any sounds in the room around you. Become aware of the sound of your inhale and the sound of your exhale. Connect with the sound of the thoughts inside your head. Be aware of the sense of sound for one minute.
Bring your awareness now to your senses of smell and taste. First noticing any scents that may be lingering in the room, or on your body. The smell of your shampoo, deodorant, or perfume. Maybe no scent at all. Notice the sensations in your mouth, becoming aware of any lingering tastes, perhaps from something you recently ate or drank. Notice the natural taste of your saliva. Pay attention to each sense, smell and taste, for one minute each.
Allow your attention to move to your sense of sight. If eyes are open, notice the colors, textures, images around you. Notice anything that is moving, seeing how movement changes color and light. If your eyes are closed, notice any colors or shapes behind the eye lids. Perhaps you see moving patterns behind your eyelids, or images in your third eye. Connect with your sense of vision for one minute.
Connect now to your sixth sense, your subtle perception ability. Become aware of the energy moving through your body in the form of you breath, you blood circulating through your system, neurochemicals sending messages through your nervous system. Imagine that you can feel each of the trillions of cells that make up your body vibrating with energy. Become aware of the energy outside your body, moving towards your awareness through different vibrational frequencies. Bring your attention to the center of your chest, and visualize a white light. As you inhale, imagine this light expanding through you, and as you exhale feel it soften out beyond the boundary of your body. Continue this visualization until you feel ready to let go of visualization and simply rest in the spaciousness of your awareness, being aware of the energy inside and around you.
To come out of the meditation, connect back to your breath, bow your chin towards your chest and flex your feet. Make a fist with your right hand, place it under your navel and cover it with your left hand, and fold forward, grounding your energy back into the body.
Check out my Instagram
for more inspiration!
© Copyright 2012-2017
All Rights Reserved
Love Joy Wellness